Great quotes...

[DBerg649]

So this may not work because it could be one of those, "you had to be there" things, but what are some of the great quotes you've heard or said in random moments?
One time a group of us were headed to this apartment at like 3 a.m. after going out and we're all a little intoxicated. As we're walking through the parking lot, 2 pretty good looking girls walk by, and my buddy Kenny decides he's gonna be smooth like Keith Stone and while you'd expect to hear a "Hey ladies" or "Hey whats goin on" or something along those lines, Kenny's drunk ass says in a very drunken slurred manner, "HEY WOMEN! ... UH, YOU LIKE BEER?" Now when we see him, we usually throw out a, Hey women!... greatest pick up line ever... they walked away and didn't even look back.
Earlier that same night, I was walking this girl home because she needed to leave but I didn't want her getting a PI, so I had to walk with my arm around her and pulled up next to me so that she wouldn't fall and get the polices attention. During that walk, she probably told me 15 times, "I'm sorry I'm so drunk, but it's my twenty f*ckin first birthday goddamnit, I deserve it."... Yes you do Lo.
Once again, that same night, there was this girl that was with our group and she was SUUUUUUUPER drunk. At one point she walks up to me and the conversation goes as follows.
Her - Iwanfayou
Me - What?
Her - Doyofume
Me - Um........ what?
Her - Lesgotmupace
Me - I uh.... I really have no idea what the f*ck you're saying
She leans in, grabs my junk and says, "Iwanafc"
I was able to decipher that one, and then it all fell into place. So I'll translate the whole conversation.
Her - I want to f*ck you
Me - What?
Her - Do you want to f*ck me?
Me - Um....... what?
Her - Lets go to my place
.... so on and so forth.
Didn't happen though. Just no way I could sleep with someone that drunk. Not to mention that it's pretty slutty and I'm not into girls that walk up to random guys for a lay. She was with our group, but I had just met her like an hour before.

I dunno, maybe they're dumb stories, but feel free to add yours.

[CR125guy]

"Hold my beer, watch this" While working on a truck on 4 jack stands.

Once me and my bro were drunk on the LV strip. He asked some guys where they got their cowboy hats. Their response "We are real Cowboys, you can't just get these hats anywhere" :funny:

[DBerg649]

Haha, you didn't know real cowboys grow their hats around puberty?
I once walked up to a random guy with a big ass beard and told him he made me want to listen to Zac Brown Band, haha. I was a little tipsy then too.

[copsey]

Her: Shut the **** up!
Me: What?
Her: You were sleeping
Me: No, I wasn't sleeping
Her: You snore while you are getting head?
Me: Sorry :-(

After that, no more good anything from her.

[copsey]

Her: Shut the **** up!
Me: What?
Her: You were sleeping
Me: No, I wasn't sleeping
Her: You snore while you are getting head?
Me: Sorry :-(

After that, no more good anything from her.

[Wonton Capistrano]

Her: Shut the **** up!
Me: What?
Her: You were sleeping
Me: No, I wasn't sleeping
Her: You snore while you are getting head?
Me: Sorry :-(

After that, no more good anything from her.


:lol::lol::roflmao::lol::lol:

[copsey]

:lol::lol::roflmao::lol::lol:


Yea, really funny but sucks because she was good with it.

[Falcon991]

Mike, you blew that one yourself. No pun intended.

[Case]

Mike, you blew that one yourself. No pun intended.

Exactly what I was thinking!:lol::lol:

[copsey]

Mike, you blew that one yourself. No pun intended.

No doubt about it.

[sharkmx62]

Her: Shut the **** up!
Me: What?
Her: You were sleeping
Me: No, I wasn't sleeping
Her: You snore while you are getting head?
Me: Sorry :-(

After that, no more good anything from her.
Have you ever seen Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story?

In one scene a chick is riding him and he wakes up and says "im sorry I forgot you were still here". Your story reminds me of that

[copsey]

Have you ever seen Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story?

In one scene a chick is riding him and he wakes up and says "im sorry I forgot you were still here". Your story reminds me of that

I haven't but it sounds like I need to.

[sharkmx62]

I haven't but it sounds like I need to.
the first half is really good, after that its pretty damn boring

[odmxrls]

We were going to a Rush concert in Alanta and peole were standing on the steps of the building and calling out what drugs they were looking to buy or sell. So my drunk buddy who was from Buffalo NY no less(who was one of those guys who could always get away with stuff) started standing there and calling out to all the girls who walked by "Sex! Sex! Casual Sex!"
A lot of girls actually thought it was funny.

[DanielleJo22]

About a month ago I was working a track meet at tOSU, and my supervisor and I are standing behind the fence of the track waiting for one of the races to begin. Well, there was this announcer that was trying to get the attention of a group of female athletes that were standing in the in-field because the officials couldn't see the beginning of the race. So after a couple attempts of the the announcer trying to politely get their attention to "please sit or kneel in the infield ladies"....he finally yells "LADIES! ON YOUR KNEES!!!"

Best thing ive ever heard over an intercom. Me and my supervisor were dying the rest of the day. :rotfl:

[DBerg649]

I'm hanging out with some friends, and one of them grabs a half full beer on this table infront of me and asks, "Is this mine?" As he starts to take a big drink I said, "I don't know man, but I think someone might have ashed in it." After he got a good drink, he had a horrible look on his face as he pulled the can away from his mouth and says, "Yup... I almost got swollowed the cigarette butt."
I was floating the river yesterday with a small group of 5, and me and one of my friends were talking about riding. He doesn't really ride at all, but he said, "Man I don't know how you guys can ride like 20 laps. I rode for like 10 minutes and could barely feel my arms." As we catch a current and start catching up to the rest of the group I'm telling him, "Ya you kinda gotta work up to it and grip more with your legs or your arms will be jello real quick." One of the other guys that just caught the last part of what I was saying asks what we were talking about and I said, "F*cking fat chicks." FYI, comments like that don't impress the ladies.